Beer tour

I'm currently reading Iain Bank's book Raw Spirit. It's awesome. The man, the legend, rampages round Scotland in search of the perfect dram. Powerful cars, boats, bucketloads of scenery and all the bottles of malt you could shake a tumbler at - all paid for on the publisher's expenses. This could be the perfect book.

Except that I'm jealous.

And I've got a better idea.

So here's the solution. All you publishers out there with more money than sense need to fight it out to see who gets to send me - the Flaming Haggis - on a tour of all the breweries I can find in the UK & of course Ireland (although we can skip Harp and Tetley's - if you don't mind). I will go in search of the perfect pint. What's more, I'll do it all on a big fuck off motorbike, and in a sea-plane which your london budget will gladly stretch to.

We'll call it:

"BEER,

Perfect"

No point mincing our words now, is there.

Anyway, publishers, I await your call...