tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58248092011-04-21T22:05:21.548+01:00Tartan tat from the heart of ScotlandAdamnoreply@blogger.comBlogger241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-40098834801359669992007-05-14T12:34:00.000+01:002007-05-14T12:36:12.933+01:00

Aw man, ah jist woke up. Got pished, missed the whole election campaign. Bollox.Whit? SNP are in charge? Are things gonna change?My guess is...Same shit, different day.

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-3878934675561611002007-04-10T12:47:00.000+01:002007-04-10T12:58:04.114+01:00

Big Alex frae the SNP started courting the English media over the weekend, suggesting that independence would be good for Englandshire too. You've got to wonder what his plans are. You'd think the man might just be getting on with fighting the election for Holyrood, but no it seems he's got expansion plans. Within 1 year of winning every seat in Holyrood, the SNP are planning to infiltrate

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-39883132188497572432007-04-02T21:57:00.000+01:002007-04-02T22:09:04.501+01:00

I listened to a radio show today that suggested Scottish women had been voted the toughest, most violent creatures on earth. In particular Fife women and more specifically crack whores from Methill topped the poll. These women are routinely observed overturning Warrior Armoured Personnel Carriers returning from duty in Iraq whilst bottle feeding a 1 year old with Irn Bru and simultaneously

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-61962238737809887022007-03-15T23:18:00.000Z2007-03-15T23:20:29.140Z

My local paper says you should report instances of lazy bastards not picking up their dog shite after it is deposited. I say you should follow the owner, find their address then take a dump on their step that night... and stick a flag in it.

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-26039771303702527452007-03-12T13:48:00.000Z2007-03-12T13:53:58.957Z

Must be slow news day - the save the Red Squirrels tree huggers are out'n'about again in the news. Count me in as one o those said huggers. I love the tufty wee gingers and hate the fact the fat grey southerners are spreading north with their pox.To do my part I've trained my cat to be a super grey squirrel killing machine. I regulary beat her around the ears with a fluffy grey effigy then send

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1323299097113017942007-03-11T12:19:00.000Z2007-03-11T12:23:18.083Z

Honestly, is there any policy that makes people want to vote SNP other than independence? oh yeah, "I'll vote for them cos I like Salmond's cheecky little smile". Don't think so. The Scotsman today is saying if they get power, they wont implement an independence referendum.EH?If the SNP get power they won't go for independence. Mental.Guess I better find someone else to vote for then. Someone who

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-46664712763210269372007-03-11T12:13:00.000Z2007-03-11T12:14:48.020Z

Time this blog got resurrected. It's election time in Scotland so there are bound to be plenty of tartan f**k ups to have a snigger at. Stand-by.

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1109090857555915002005-02-22T16:44:00.000Z2005-02-22T16:47:37.556Z

It's a familiar phrase, but one I don't often utter. Anyway, I pure forgot about updating this old blog - the flaming haggis. i suppose i've spent too much time updating my new blog recently. Anyway, I've got lots of nonsense to blog about so check back soon eh?Bonjour

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1093014377009593192004-08-20T15:51:00.000+01:002004-08-20T16:06:17.010+01:00

I'm currently reading Iain Bank's book Raw Spirit. It's awesome. The man, the legend, rampages round Scotland in search of the perfect dram. Powerful cars, boats, bucketloads of scenery and all the bottles of malt you could shake a tumbler at - all paid for on the publisher's expenses. This could be the perfect book. Except that I'm jealous. And I've got a better idea. So here's the solution.

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1086979672283827072004-06-11T19:45:00.000+01:002004-06-11T19:47:52.283+01:00

OK, Scotland are not in the Portugal fitba' thing. It could be down to lack of football talent? Possibly, but my guess is that it's down to the Portugeuse wanting to retain some of their favourite tipple for export later in the year. If the tartan army came to Portugal there'd be no port for christmas. And then you'd have a grumpy crags. So i guess i must be happy. for now. This made me

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1086358886956905782004-06-04T15:19:00.000+01:002004-06-04T15:23:12.816+01:00

Tomorrow could quite possibly be the highlight of the beer drinkers calendar. What, springtime? No, Caleytime. The Caley beer festival rolls up to the Caledonian brewery for two days of harmless swilling. This year's focus (I think) is Scotland v's England. You mean you want to promote this kind of nationalistic neighbour-hating thuggery? Intolerant, irrational bad behaviour to your lovely

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1086275146333872132004-06-03T16:03:00.000+01:002004-06-03T16:06:46.300+01:00

In fact, forget about the price of petrol altogether. Shell out about £500 to this company and you'll be running your motor on chip shop waste oil. Go on, just do it. http://www.greasecar.com/

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1086272642121691612004-06-03T15:14:00.000+01:002004-06-03T15:24:02.123+01:00

A pound per litre. That's what they said. a pound for a litre of petrol. This has got to be the start of the end. Bring on the windfarms and the scaelectrix cars. We're all going to drive slower to save on fuel, and the roads will be even more chocka. I, for one, am going to be driving like an old man. Maybe i should sell the monde and get a pissy little car. Maybe i should import a car that

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1085397219696080812004-05-24T12:01:00.000+01:002004-05-24T12:13:39.696+01:00

The headline at the top of the Scotland on Sunday yesterday read "McConnell to face humiliation...". Fantastic, I have images of the cabinet stripping him as he finishes work on friday afternoon, dressing him in a sequined mini skirt, boob tube, curly wig and fishnets before tying him to a shopping trolley and parading round the edinburgh pubs. Bouncers would react with "You're not bringin that

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1085307324626035352004-05-23T11:14:00.000+01:002004-05-24T12:15:19.096+01:00

It came to my attention this week that we are all creatures of habit. especially when it comes to drinking. We tend to adjust our tipple by the season. that's why I propose, under crags' independent scotland (CIR) to dispense with the Julian calendar - named after some fucker from rome who tried to invade our country and also liked to eat a lot of salads - and replace it with beer. Got me? yep,

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1076316445743952842004-02-09T08:47:00.000Z2004-02-09T08:49:11.000Z

OK, so the snow finally came, a week and a half late. Yesterday was rather wintry here in Scotland. Cars off the road here and there, gritters out on double time, and everybody with big smiles on their faces. Well, me anyway. So we were off for a sunday drive. Thought we'd try and get up to the Ben Lawers visitor centre car park and get some good snow photos. Unfortunately the single track road

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1075458291755570832004-01-30T10:24:00.000Z2004-01-30T10:26:27.340Z

This weekend is officially "punch a weather forecaster" weekend. Forecast for the week just past was intense snow, arctic temperatures, more snow, life will stop they said. I nearly went out to buy snow chains. Lyin bastards. Ah saw about 3 flakes go flying past the window at considerably less than the 70mph they said the wind was going to get to. And cold? I've been out in ma tevas and shorts

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1071656848636578932003-12-17T10:27:00.000Z2003-12-17T10:28:20.763Z

It is midwinter is it not? Long dark nights, short dark days, wild weather, heartburn and hangovers? Why then did I come across multiple caravans on the road to Glencoe and back on sunday. Caravan's don't belong on the roads at this time of year. Actually, caravans don't belong on the road at any time of year. But certainly not at this time of year. I used to believe that caravans should only

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1071221834325350032003-12-12T09:37:00.000Z2003-12-12T09:38:01.216Z

The UK government has brought in some spamming laws. Yippee. Now my mailbox will be free of the infernal clatter of unwanted bullshit. I'll be able to uninstall the spam filter which slows my machine to the pace of a council planning application. Will be able to focus on work, will get more done and will have the lifestyle of someone considerably richer than me. Ya bonzer. Until you see the

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1071154545246570642003-12-11T14:55:00.000Z2003-12-11T14:56:31.076Z

I came across this awesome site today - www.firstfoot.com. Brilliant, especially the column on crisps and glue. That's the kind of site the web should be all about. Forget your tescos and amazon instant shopping. Folk say "what's the internet good for" anf the general answer goes "well ye can get cheap CD's n DVD's n that". Well, www.firstfoot.com certainly is the antithesis of that. With a

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1070527745726061362003-12-04T08:49:00.000Z2003-12-04T16:55:26.246Z

I had the misfortune to be out of doors early this morning and finally realised that it is winter. Thoughts of a long lingering autumn that lasts until april can be banished. It's grim out there. Cold and grim. And I feel it might be time for a pair of gloves. I Could go buy them myself, or could put them on a Christmas list. Which brings me to the point. Christmas Lists. Whether sent to Santa,

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1070395230488161162003-12-02T20:00:00.000Z2003-12-02T20:01:08.450Z

BRILLIANT - ANOTHER NEW LAW!!! It's a cracker this time. It's now illegal to hold your mobile phone whilst driving a car. Sellotape the beast to your head and you'll be fine, unless your phone is the size of mine that is - then you'll hae neck damage for the rest of your life. Seriously though, a thirty pound fine if you get caught holding your phone in the motor. My advice to you is to make

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1063965245821596862003-09-19T10:54:00.000+01:002003-09-19T10:54:05.990+01:00

It’s getting on for my favourite time of year now. What, Autumn? No, well, in a way yes. What I mean to say is it’s now officially PHEASANT TWATTING SEASON. This time of year, every year these dumb-ass birds like the feel of tarmac under their feet and spend all day wandering about on roads. Which makes good sport for us. Some people use the phrase “like shooting fish in a barrel” when referring

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5824809.post-1063812823015594412003-09-17T16:33:00.000+01:002003-09-17T16:33:42.673+01:00

Ha ha - the first post of the Flaming Haggis. None of this will make much sense but is an outlet for some of my entrails. Be offended if you like. I don't mean to, but i just have to gush my steaming entrails sometimes. Enjoy.

Adamnoreply@blogger.com0