BRILLIANT - ANOTHER NEW LAW!!!

It's a cracker this time. It's now illegal to hold your mobile phone whilst driving a car.
Sellotape the beast to your head and you'll be fine, unless your phone is the size of mine that is - then you'll hae neck damage for the rest of your life.

Seriously though, a thirty pound fine if you get caught holding your phone in the motor. My advice to you is to make sure you don't get caught. By my scientific calculations I figure that if you hammer past a polis car at least 110mph faster than it, there's little chance he's gonnae see your mobly in your hand.

Me, I shouldnae have a problem. I can't work the wee ringin bastard at the best of times, let alone when I'm doin a Macrae.

Until next time...