BAN THE SPAM YA BAM

The UK government has brought in some spamming laws. Yippee. Now my mailbox will be free of the infernal clatter of unwanted bullshit. I'll be able to uninstall the spam filter which slows my machine to the pace of a council planning application. Will be able to focus on work, will get more done and will have the lifestyle of someone considerably richer than me. Ya bonzer.

Until you see the small print.

It's only illegal to send spam to personal addresses. And the spam is only illegal if it originates in the UK. Brilliant. Wake up Tony. When did you last receive spam originating in the UK? Never. Even on the odd occasion that spam contains products available to the UK market, it never originates here - otherwise we'd all go round to the originators house and politely unplug their computer.

Come on ya bunch of fannies. What we want is to be rid of the SPAM. I don't need to be more well endowed (thank you for asking though). I'm not quite at the stage of needing viagra yet, and yes, I have a good printer cartridge supplier for the 2 cartridges I buy each year. This, and the darker adult orientated spam is what we want to be rid of.

So get intae it. Get yer well padded politicians arses round to GCHQ and aquire some proprietary software. If they can track old Bin Laden's emails round the world, they can stop generic viagra spams coming across our borders. And when you find where it's coming from, we the public request that you blow the fuckers up with some big-arsed bunker destroying smarty farty bombs.

STICK YOUR NECK OUT AND DO IT
WAR ON TERROR, WAR ON SPAM
YA BAM